Thoughts

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Most days I'm barely holding it together, but I don't have the luxury to fall apart.

My brain has decided that suicide is a better option than trying to finish school or basically change or do anything better. However, I am not controlled by my thoughts and I refuse to succumb to them. 

Everything hurts and I feel like I'm drowning most days. I'm slow to get up and being a person is complicated most days. Being a responsible adult is hard all on its own.

I'm tired even when I sleep and all I want to do is drink and smoke cigarettes and cut. 

My thoughts hate me y'all. But I guess what doesn't kill you, makes you want to kill yourself, so I guess I'm getting stronger?

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