It's a "Let's Overanalyze Everything!" kind of week... month... months.
Somedays I feel like I can take on the world. Like I am so much more powerful and amazing then people know. On those days I refuse to apologize for being me. I take up space and I can be heard.
I don't shy away but stand up and am proud of who I am, what I've accomplished and how far I've come.
But then there are other days.
And on those days I just want to disappear. I feel like I do everything wrong. That I've done everything wrong. That I am wrong.
I become unable to process normal interactions and my mind turns every single one into something that needs to be looked at over and over and over again with a microscope to see where I went wrong, because goddamnit I know I did something wrong!
I broke something, something is broken, I can feel it in the sidelong glances. Did I say the wrong thing? Did I miss the social cues? Did I bother them? Are they annoyed?
Did I cross some invisible line and now I've shattered any chance I have of being your friend?
I'm so broken I can't even touch other people without shattering the bridge on my way to reach them.
Why am I so broken?
I don't shy away but stand up and am proud of who I am, what I've accomplished and how far I've come.
But then there are other days.
And on those days I just want to disappear. I feel like I do everything wrong. That I've done everything wrong. That I am wrong.
I become unable to process normal interactions and my mind turns every single one into something that needs to be looked at over and over and over again with a microscope to see where I went wrong, because goddamnit I know I did something wrong!
I broke something, something is broken, I can feel it in the sidelong glances. Did I say the wrong thing? Did I miss the social cues? Did I bother them? Are they annoyed?
Did I cross some invisible line and now I've shattered any chance I have of being your friend?
I'm so broken I can't even touch other people without shattering the bridge on my way to reach them.
Why am I so broken?
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