Sunday, May 7, 2017

Today Should be a Good Day

I am so sick and tired of my brain.

Today should be a good day.

Today should be the best fucking day of my life so far.

I graduated from college yesterday.

I have my entire life ahead of me and all I feel like is dying.

Like the fuck is this shit?

I am smart, I am strong and I am confident.

I am good at what I know how to do and I can learn the things I don't know.

I am pretty without makeup and gorgeous with it.

I have a body some people would be over the moon to have.

And yet I feel trapped inside myself and like I am not worth the space I take up.

Honestly, it's relaly annoying when I feel like I have a million different personalities inside me and none of them can agree.

One wants me dead.

One wants me to run away.

One wants me to grow up.

One wants advenrute.

One wants me to stay young.

One is cool and just wants to be a dragon and I'm inclined to join her in her endeavors. lol.

But seriously, I don't know that to think of all these things I want to do. Some are, sadly, impossible. Other improbable or basically just not okay by any standards.

I don't know what the think. And I'm never sure what to do.

But what I am going to do it get up, shower, put on some makeup and go hang out with my family. Cause at least I know I can do that.


I'm Done

So I graduated yesterday.

And I'm going to pass all my classes.

At least four of them are A's. So that's pretty spectacular.

But today I just feel weird.

Off.

Like I made it but why am I so out of it and so confused and muddled in my mind.

My body is exhausted as is my mind.

I got a sunburn yesterday. Cause we were outside way longer than I thought we were going to be so that's fun.

Idk I think my head is off.

I need to do something. But I don't know what.