My Thoughts Continue to Taunt Me
I can not cry at work. I can not cry at work. I can not cry at work. No matter how far my mental capacity has plummeted in the past, moving back into my parent's house was a horrendous decision and has caused so much mental stress. I can not remember the last time I was this bad. Before I returned, I convinced myself that the negative memories were all just in my head. That I was just over exaggerating the situations and the way they went down. Being back in their environment has shown me I was not making shit up. I was not blowing things out of proportion. My self-esteem is at an all time love. I want to eat everything and nothing. My default answer to everything negative is: "I should just die." I want to cut. I want to drink and smoke and dissipate into the universe. Words keep running over and over in my head. I am not okay and I want to die. I am not okay and I want to die. I am not okay and I want