I Don't Know
How am I holding it together? Today was the worst possible day to find out the worst possible things. I will likely not be able to get a job in my field because I don't have any experience in smaller job markets. But in order to be in a smaller job market, I must move at least two hours away from where I live, my fiancé lives and where my friends and family live. I am exhausted. I make backup plans for my backup plans and I do everything within my power to set myself up for success and yet something always goes wrong and pulls the bottom out from under me. Think I'm exaggerating? Believe me, I wish I was, but ask anyone and they will tell you I have shitty luck. Like something from a movie bad luck. And I'm getting really tired of fighting the universe to catch a break. My head has decided suicide is the answer and I am fighting myself every day not to give into the temptation. My body is shaking from lack of sleep and my arm itches to be cut, while my lungs want