Good thing I made that playlist for my last post am I right? Cause it is one of those days. Getting out of bed today was hard. It felt like I'd run half a marathon by the time I made it to the bathroom. So many points were spent just trying to convince myself to take my meds, shower and brush my teeth. It felt like a day and a half had gone by in 20 minutes. I dragged myself into the kitchen and thank god I meal prepped, otherwise I wouldn't have eaten or made lunch. Thankfully, my husband gets these days and made me cold coffee and made me eat a little before I went to work. Now I'm sitting here, waiting to leave and I feel like I've been waiting for months. This day will drag on and on and on. An unending exhaustion I can't quite shake.
Brain: Something's wrong, something's wrong, something's wrong, something's wrong! Me: What?! What's wrong, why are you pannicking? Brain: I just know something is wrong, idk what but something is! Me: Alright, guess I'll just sit here and panic then.
I'm about two seconds away from completely snapping Or maybe I'm two seconds away after having already snapped No one's home tonight It'll be just me My thoughts All alone in a big empty house With alcohol and guns and pillls and knives. I should probably drive I will drive Around and around and around Music up way too loud Maybe I can drown it all out You're not worth it. They're all going to leave. They're going to realize it. Sooner or later. That you're not who you seem to be. They'll realize and leave. Just like they did. If your parents saw it and dropped you, what's stopping anyone else? Where did our sweet Emily Angel go? What have you done with her? This isn't you. Do we need to send you to a psych ward? You're acting insane! That's because I am.
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